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Nuts "Revised" by ~synyst:iconsynyst:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open


The nuts glinted brightly,
    in the harsh light of the garage.
Complete silence filled the room,
    but for the occasional drip of oil.
He reached out slowly,
    rough hands covered in filth,
    fingers deftly tracing the curves
    of the small objects before him.
Rolling each one in his hand, watching,
   mesmerized.
He let each one fall back to the table,
    eliciting a small noise of metal on metal.

They were different now,
   covered in dirt and grime.
No longer did they shine.
He had destroyed their beauty.
Fingerprints were clearly visible,
   covering the once impeccable surfaces…

No longer did they hold his attention…
So he left them.
©2008-2009 ~synyst
:iconsynyst:

Author's Comments

Revised version of my other poem :D

Comments


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:iconmadhatch:
*MadHatch Apr 27, 2008, 3:34:51 AM
Simple, nice - and the images work well.

--
"If you think this personality is weird, wait ‘til you see the others..."
:icona-wilddog:
~A-WildDog Apr 28, 2008, 1:27:42 PM
You've used imagery really well in this piece, it throws forward many emotions which are deeply felt.
I actually can't see anything I would change or even think of any suggestions for this piece.
I personally think it's about abusive relationships, am I right?

--
A. WildDog
:iconsynyst:
~synyst Apr 28, 2008, 5:18:37 PM
Very close. after i wrote this and read it t he first thing i th o ught of was basically rape.

--
My best poem : [link]

"Question everything, even your own existence."
:iconsynyst:
~synyst Apr 28, 2008, 5:21:58 PM
And thanks SOO much for the :+fav: D:D it's definitely appreciated

--
My best poem : [link]

"Question everything, even your own existence."
:iconcarrionballet:
~CarrionBallet May 1, 2008, 1:01:51 PM
Wild guess, here. But it makes me think of a quiet, smalltime auto-mechanic who's actually a serial rapist/murderer.

--
The meaning of life is to live well, die, and, in death, know a true, immortal life as an entity not unto oneself, but defined as all that which surrounds oneself.
--
Clubs to which I belong: *The-Literati, *The-Novelist-Club, *UnseenArtists
:iconsynyst:
~synyst May 1, 2008, 1:52:34 PM
hehehe good guess ;)

--
My best poem : [link]

"Question everything, even your own existence."
:icondustyreader:
~dustyreader Nov 17, 2008, 10:43:48 PM
The imagery was good, it made me think of how people are quick to lose interest in something they've already owned, especially if it's become less than what it was when they got it.
Although I don't think that was your original intent with this poem. ^^;

--
Life is short
And pleasures few
And holed the ship
And drowned the crew
But o! But o!
How very blue
The sea is.
~Clive Barker
:iconsynyst:
~synyst Nov 18, 2008, 12:18:26 PM
not quite what i was going for but i hadn't thought of that interpretation.

--
My best poem : [link]

"Question everything, even your own existence."
:iconoh-my-goat:
=oh-my-goat Apr 19, 2009, 11:27:08 PM
Pretty...

--
"Jew horses that go to raisin church." - *Thalassic

:| :B :la:
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